I have spent the last two years trying to get substantive feedback from my thesis chair and finally, 5 days before the deadline to turn in my thesis, I get this email:

you do deserve extra credit for kicking everything off with a Lovecraft quotation


*facepalm*

I love studying how it is that we as people communicate and frequently take pleasure in deconstructing the language use of texts I study. I would probably study comparative literature if I had the grammatical skill for it, but alas grammar was always my downfall in English classes.

Last week when I was back in the southland, I spent a good 15 minutes discussing the merits and drawbacks of being pedantic with a friend. She took exception to me lovingly telling her she was a bit of a pedant when she called me out for a particular bit of wordage in my thesis. Of course, we then proceeded to debate how neurotic one had to be in order to be a bit pedantic and the various benefits if you were in fact a pedant...which I think kind of proved my original point. She flipped me the bird when I pointed that and did not really appreciate that I didn't think it particularly derogatory since I wholly embrace my pedantic tendencies. But she followed it up by telling me how much she missed having intellectual debates with me.

I was reminded of this because I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to determine if there is a substantive difference between using the nouns distinction and contradistinction. Sometimes I wonder how I manage to get anything done at all.

Just a quick update, back in Barcelona from the cruise and flying home on Monday.  I really love this city, I could see myself living here so easily.  I've been keeping a travel journal, a tradition I started when I spent a month in the UK about 5 years ago.  I might upload some of my sketches & photos when I get home after Monday.  Until then, I leave you with a photo of Mt. Vesuvius taken from inside Pompeii at an archway on the Avenue of Mercury.

Yesterday I was having lunch with two of my grad school cohorts, two fabulous women I shared an office with when I was a TA. At one point our conversation had drifted to current events, including the Birther conspiracy theory, the Health Care is trying to kill old people BS, and talk of the rise of anti-intellectualism in our society. At one point, C, laughingly, paused and commented how sad we were, sitting here in the middle of summer and talking about intellectual pursuits, engaging in cultural critique and we weren't even in school anymore. (I'd point out, of the 3 of us, she is the most recent graduate from the program). M and I just kind of paused, exchanged a "yeah, and?" look and grinned at her. C laughed and said it was no surprise both us were planning to go for our PhDs.

My only real question was, how could you have known me for nearly three years and not have realized it wasn't something I turned off when I walked out of school. This is my life. It is, frankly, how I grok the world.

So it looks like there's a decent chance I will be moving to Korea next month? Holy Hell.
I am alternating between thinking this will possibly be incredibly awesome and fighting the urge to go sit in the corner with my head between my knees.

Does anyone have a spare dreamwidth invite code lying about? Comments are screened!

EDIT: I can has code, thanks Stephen! :D

There's nothing quite like deboning a couple of chicken breasts, getting yourself and your kitchen sink good and covered in chicken goo. Only to realize that during this time, the water in your building has been turned off.

I'm sure I made quite the sight, tromping down to the manager's office, keys draped precariously over my cleanest pinky. Chicken guts very nearly still dripping off my hands. Demanding to know why the water had been turned off without proper notification. Particularly seeing as I had dead chicken bits just waiting to breed and colonize in my kitchen and on my hands.

Thank god for the pitcher of water in my fridge and the hand sanatizer stuffed in the depths of my closet. I normally detest that stuff and suspect it probably does more to breed super germs that will take over the earth than actually clean my hands, but had some in case of emergency. This, I think, qualified, as one of those times.

( I'm looking at you, Without a Trace fandom. )

I'm leaving at 6am tomorrow (today) for L.A. so I probably won't see any replies until Monday. And I'm making the entry public, because I think it needed to be said.

So after giving it some thought I decided not to actually delete this journal, but it is going to become friends-only.

I am not ashamed of my life or the things I do and part of having an online journal is realizing it means strangers can see what you write. That being said, it’s not an open invitation for my "friends" and teammates to pry into my personal life for the sole purpose of trying to humiliate me.

So, if you want to be able to read this journal from now on, just leave a comment here or friend me and I’ll probably friend you back. Unless you're part of that aforementioned group, then you can just fuck off.

5/8/03

I consider myself an environmentalist. While I may not be a tree-loving hippie, I'm a fan of the Kyoto Protocol, I go out of my way to recycle, I hate SUVs and if given the choice I'd see stronger environmental protections in place in our country. Anyone who reads this LJ with regularity is probably well aware of the fact that I'm not the biggest fan of Bush or his environmental policies. Needless to say, up until yesterday I considered myself well informed on the many ways that Bush and his administration has been raping our environment and the laws that protect it. Yesterday, as part of my work for debate I picked up a book published earlier this month by Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Crimes Against Nature is a scary book. Even I, a person who goes out of her way to read up on these issues, was largely unaware of many of the going ons of the current administration. This book makes the prospect of Bush getting re-elected the scariest thing I can think of. Anyone who's ever wondered about the status of our environmental protection or how Bush has handled the issue while in office should read this book, it will scare you.

Some excerpts: ( Bush's cabinet and officials... )
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( Anti-Environmental Groups? Not as innocent as you think )
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( Some of the majors players in the Aministration and their problems with ethics and the law )
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Possibly the most disturbing part of the book though, is when Kennedy talks about the state of our nuclear power plants and our chemical plants. The Bush Administration has suppressed efforts since 9/11 to enact into law regulations requiring stronger security protections for these industrial sites. Did you know that over 50% of America's nuclear power plants regularly fail security tests (which involve simply two men trying to walk into the plant)? Bush is more than willing to spend millions of dollars enforcing stronger regulations for airlines, yet almost every defense analyst points to power plants and chemical factories as the next major target of terrorist attacks.

Does this scare you? Because it should.

I know it scares me.

Take Your Daughters and Sons To Work Day.

The point is in here somewhere, it just takes me a bit to get there.

When I first expressed interest in joining my school's AP Biology class for my Senior year of high school, one of my teachers told me that I had to be good at math in order to survive in the class. He said this without ever having seen my math grades or without any direct knowledge of my skills at math. The assumption behind his words was simple: girls aren't good at math. It probably wasn't as conscious a thought as that, discrimination is rarely so overt. But consider this, I was one of 4 girls in a class of almost 30 when I took physics my junior year of high school. Physics was an elective science class. My high school mandated that all students take Biology at some point in their high school career, when I took it my freshman year, there was no noticeable difference in scoring among the upper 1/2 of the male and female students. And yet the number of women who joined the elective second year of Biology was almost nonexistent. Kids generally take classes they know they'll do well in, so why did almost none of the girls who did well in freshmen Biology continue on into the second year?

I started college as a Marine Biology major, during my second year I went to talk to a teacher during our school's advising day. While I was standing in line to talk to my advisor, I overheard one of the teachers talking about possible careers with a male student. Suggestions I overheard were tech jobs in bioengineering or genetics, medical research or possibly a teaching position at a high school or college. When it was my turn and the conversation turned towards what I wanted to do once I graduated, my advisor told me with a very straight face that I should consider teaching younger children or being a docent at an aquarium or marine reserve. He informed me with regret I wouldn't find much beyond that or being a lab rat for the rest of my life without a PhD. The assumption, again, being I didn't have the commitment to get a post-graduate degree. Yet the same group of advisors had suggested to a male student without hesitation these very same jobs that were supposedly out of my reach.

Why is this? Why is it there are fewer women in professional fields like business or science? Is it because women aren't as smart as men? If that's not it, what is it? It's because women aren't encouraged to join the professional workforce on the same scale that men are. Certainly there are exceptions; I'd count myself as one of them. My parents have always been vocal about choosing whatever career I wanted and I was blessed with a 7th grade math teacher who went out of her way to encourage female students to pursue careers in math or science. But women, by and large, are subtly discouraged from entering the professional field, particularly in the upper levels of management.

Today, in the top 1500 publicly traded companies in the United States, women make up less than 5% of top tier jobs. Not only this, but the percentage of women varied widely in different fields. Female executives are nonexistent in many more masculine fields and present in only slightly higher numbers in cosmetics and domestic oriented fields.

"Only eight women chief executives are running Fortune 500 companies because most companies primarily groom men for the top jobs," states Betty Spence, president of the National Association for Female Executives. "Where the best companies for women stand out is their focus on moving women into the historically male province of profit-and-loss (P&L) responsibility," she says. (source)

This is the reason Take Your Daughters To Work Day was created. Acting on research that showed adolescent girls received less attention than boys, this day was initiated in 1993 by the Ms. Foundation for Women. The intention was to give girls additional direct attention and an insight into work world opportunities available to them. It was to serve the multiple purpose of increased self esteem for young girls as well as give them some ideas of the wealth of careers in the world. Thirdly, it allowed them more one-on-one time with mom or dad. (source)

I cannot explain how much it bothers me that this event that started as an attempt to empower young women has turned into a play day circus for children. So what if young boys felt left out because they didn't get a day off school? They're speaking from a privileged position that has traditionally made up 99.9% of the workforce. The point of this program was to encourage young women to pursue their dreams, no matter what profession that might be.

In this day of political correctness, I suppose it's almost impossible to engage in any widespread attempt to promote the empowerment of a traditionally disadvantaged group without someone complaining that it hurts the very group of people who created that disadvantage in the first place. But if nothing else, consider the original reason this day was created. Maybe the next time a little girl says she wants to be something other than a mother or a ballerina when she grows up, show her the support she deserves by having an open mind and encouraging her. Because, really, that's what started this whole event in the first place.

Seeing X2 again: Cool.
Having to take a cab home because the Iron Horse stopped running before we got out of the movie: Not cool.

But really, one of the more amusing moments, at the end of the Matrix Reloaded preview, when the whole theater was cheering, the guy in the row in front of us screamed "I have such a hard on for this movie!"

( Spoilery thoughts on X2 and uh....the comics too )

Edit: Also, GIP!

Leaving to see X2 again in about 20 minutes, HEE. HEE. HEE.

Been playing around in Painter 8, and good lord it's confusing. x_x

To: My Jaw
From: Tanzy

I've invested enough money in you over the years to fund a small army, so PLZ STOP HURTING, KTHNX. These little crackling noises you're making whenever I open my jaw are not cool. And the throbbing pain and bleeding gums? Also not cool. The surgery I had on you when I turned 17 was supposed to stop these things from happening. >:O

So I finally stopped pansying about and got myself a custom layout. You can see it here. I imagine it doesn't look like very much at anything less than 1024 x 768. And I have no idea if it works in Netscape. And you know what? I find that I really don't care (well, no, that's not true, if someone notices it's all fucked and tells me I'll probably try to fix it, but I can't be arsed to go check myself).

The image is from Matantei Loki Ragnarok's ending sequence. I rather like this series, although my interest in it is nothing compared to jokersama or bobthetrout's, since I don't have a massive mythology fetish. =p

The Europe topic just got selected as next year's topic for debate.

WTF.

what the hell are we going to debate: the UFSG should impeach Bush to improve relations with Europe?

EDIT: Also, GIP.

I had intended to finish up a ficlet as a present but got rather distracted while witting up a post on gender exclusion in the gaming community. So solly. T_T

Which got me to thinking about girl gamers and I have a bit of a theory and I'm curious if it's true. If ya'll could do me a favor and direct any girls you know over this way and to fill out the poll I'd appreciate it. :D

( The Poll, cut for friend's pages )

Edit: so a couple people asked why I was posting this kind of poll so let me explain a little bit my reasons. As most of you know, I'm very active in collegiate competitive debate, I follow one of the more popular listservs for the community, edebate. Recently there's been a lot of discussion about meaningful change in the community for gender equality. One of the bigger points that resonated with me is the point that while in debates themselves many people have become pro-feminist (i.e. don't use gendered language or gender charged terms), the moment most people step out of a debate round those efforts stop. Women are structually and socially excluded in a community that professes to be all about equality.

So what the hell does that have to do with games, you ask? Well, the other main point I took away from that discussion was that many people who profess to embrace these ideas are doing nothing outside the setting of academic setting to further these beliefs. In other words, on some levels, it's kind of like a false activism. This, combined with a thread on Blizzard's Warcraft III forums and an article over at GamerGirl made me give some serious thought about how women are excluded from games, both on the audience level and in the gamer community.

My room feels so empty now. Diane's single room she had applied for when she moved up here finally opened up and she moved out today. I have the room to myself again and...it sucks. I liked Diane, we got along, had fun. She helped give this room personality with her giant Bjork poster, iPad and fluffy purple comforter. And now the room feels empty without her.

Who am I going to watch Law and Order with now? ._.

The Kristit has abandoned me on AIM for a Heath Ledger movie. *sob*

Not that I wouldn't have done the same.

Really, is there such a thing as too much fun with photoshop? I'm beginning to think there isn't. Messed around on photoshop for a fairly long time while half watching The Thomas Crown Affair and When Harry Met Sally on TV. I'm wondering if the former movie was made significantly shorter because they had to cut out all the sex, because from what I've heard of that movie is was pretty much Renee Rusou and Pierce Brosnan having constant sex with the plot interjecting itself occasionally.

( One of the results )

No, I don't really have a life, why do you ask? 9_9